


Song of the Interns

by Grasshopper_of_Anarchy



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Free Verse, Gen, Humor, Intern Deaths, Meta Poetry, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27999303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grasshopper_of_Anarchy/pseuds/Grasshopper_of_Anarchy
Summary: You know how pretty much every intern dies? They’re like fair goldfish. So I decided to make fun of that with a decidedly strange poem.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Song of the Interns

Chad loved tennis, and was lost to the store

until he turned up with that foul beagle whore

Jerry communed with those strange, eldritch beasts

He’s since disappeared, or else wasn’t released

Trusty old Leland has left this mortal plane

By unearthly red light, this intern was slain

Dear Stacy passed on after street cleaning day

The report of her death suffered ghastly delay

Dutiful Richie was sent to investigate

His roots now reside deep in forest substrate

Down to the subway intern Dylan was sent

Needless to say, he no longer pays rent

Vithya suffered a much kinder fate

Making a trip to the great pearly gate

Jesús took a spill down the deep break room pit

Poor guy never returned, as luck would have it

For Jeremy died in the very same room

a plague of scorpions ensuring it would be his tomb

Sweet Hannah; a victim of the blood-space war

Brave Andrew; who battled (and lost) with a sword

Cousin Rob, Crafty Brad, Captive Paolo and Zvi

Antique-bitten Hector, Shark-bitten Jeremy

Danielle, who ran and quite possibly died

Gustav, who squished balls and was only one eyed

Blake, who snuffed it punching three holes

Kate, James, Victor- who even knows?

The mortality rate- can anyone survive?

Well, four known interns are still alive!

Maureen, whose hours were never signed

Kareem, now at NVCC with answers to find

Dana Cardinal, the mayor of esteem

And of course our host Cecil, whose name ends this theme

Goodnight, all ye interns, wherever you are

And count yourself lucky if you’ve flesh left to mar.


End file.
